Onto the next..

Today ended up being somewhat of a blessing time-wise. I had a bit of time before I headed out to IVF, yet again for another procedure, so I thought I would write.

I am headed to get a Sonohistogram. This is more for insurance purposes, but it's understandable why they need to do this. We met with the doc last week and luckily it wasn't me that caused the folicles to shrink, but it's just what happens sometimes with Clomid. He said it was like a "one size fits all drug" and it either works or doesn't.

He suggested that we move onto IUI, which is more of an invasive procedure. The insurance wants to make sure that I'm healthy "inside," and I guess I do too. If there are issues, it will answer a lot of other questions, but I don't foresee this being an issue.

It's a quick procedure, but not comfortable.. bottom line is they have to take pictures of my uterus to make sure things are OK. That may have been too much info, but hey, that's what's happening. LOL

Oddly, I am not feeling nervous. It could be that I have all the info I need on how this procedure will be done and I also went thru a similar test to check if my "tubes" were blocked or not. That was X-rays and this is ultrasound so I'm not going to the hospital for this one.

As I said above, today ended up being a blessing time-wise. I was going to be leaving work at 1p (which is earlier than scheduled) and I was concerned as I was busy this morning checking in students and thought it would be worse after lunch.

My main supervisor is at a conference so my other colleague was my partner. Another colleague of mine and myself told her that we had been taking a 30 min lunch. She had things to do, it wasn't too busy, so she wanted to take the full hour. For me, that meant that I could leave more than a half hour early. This also meant, that I didn't have to rush, could make sure I could rest a bit before I left for IVF, which also leads to a better experience in the procedure.

To top it off, it was supposed to start raining at 10a and continue thru the afternoon. When I came out of the office, it seems like it's 85 and very humid. Not very common here in Boston, but I'll take it. Rain, most of the time, makes me sad and a bit down. All I can say is that it looks like someone was looking over me today.. giving me the extra time AND sun to walk home in was a huge relief for my soul.

I always say that things happen for a reason. Getting myself centered and in partnership with this procedure really has made my life easier. It's nothing to resist--either I accept it or not and move on. This is nothing painful, I got thru the other one, and I'm strong.

I'll close here, but I am finding this entire process extremely interesting. Much of my life is transforming and part of the time I'm in it and part of the time I'm watching myself. But thru it all, I am VERY aware of myself and how I'm perceiving things. Between therapy, the seminars I'm assisting around, and reading "A New Earth"--they all have been powerful tools I can use in any situation.


Aside from that, I just want to note here how excited I am about David Cook winning Idol! I haven't been this into Idol.. or I have been and my contestant usually gets booted off earlier. But it was SO great to have a rocker win this one! Here he is!

This cycle...

I have been avoiding writing, but I know that writing does help me. Why it helps more to make it public, I have no idea, but I'm writing anyways.

I have a small headache. Due to suffering from migraines in my early 20s, I know that this one is a stress headache. I have wanted to cry for a couple days now, and I won't allow myself to. It's lame, it's ego, but I can't do it. I'm sure I will soon, but there's always a reason that I can't now.

On Saturday I found out that we had to abandon the fertility drug cycle. I had my third ultrasound on Saturday thinking that it would be similar to last month (the follicle started out small, but grew to the appropriate size for the shot and we continued), but we had to stop for now. I meet with the doc in a few days to find out if this is "normal" or something that happens from time to time. I did do a few things differently than I did last month.. I had 0 drinks in April and no coffee (although I don't really drink coffee), and this month I had about 3 drinks total and a bit of caffeine. I'll let the doc know and see if that could have done anything.

I do have to say, it's taking everything I have to not say "I'm broken" or "something is wrong with me." It's one of the most frustrating things when you are basically healthy. Sure could literally lose 15 pounds and feel better, but overall, I have a clean bill of health. Why is this such an issue? I guess I should be glad that there really isn't anything else. At least I only need to focus on this.

It's hard to stay focused although I do have to say this month has been a lot better than last month. It seems mainly that I have a general idea of what to expect. I can at least say I'm getting "trained" in how to deal with the unexpected--which is something I don't have a lot of facility around.


Law school has been on my mind a bit as well. I recently threw away all my law school bulletins that I had collected over the months. No need to keep the paper around right now and I would start over again when needed. But due to this cycle being stopped this weekend, it just made me think of not getting accepted to law school.

I have a Paralegal certificate on the horizon, but it's not the same for obvious reasons. This is not to say I'd rather go to school than start a famiily, it's almost like I wish I could be two different people. Kinda weird.

It's been great getting back in touch with an old buddy of mine as he's in law school right now. He just completed his 2L finals and I'm so proud of him! For the moment, I guess I can live vicariously thru him until he completes.. hope that's OK, D! :D


That's it for now.. I'm heading out to go do some volunteering, but I will leave you with this video that my friend Chris sent me this morning. We both got a chuckle out of me saying: "man, can he work a shirt!!"

Unfortunately "embedding has been disabled by request" but here's the link. Enjoy a bit of the 80s.

"What Difference Does It Make" by the Smiths

Stealing and the New Apple Store

I know I just wrote earlier today, but I had to ask this.. if you have anything on your car (say an antenna topper or magnet), do you get this stuff stolen? I never had this issue in Austin. For the longest time I'd always put Jack in the Box heads on my antenna or put a magnet on my car. I usually took them off due to them being on there so long they looked gross. Or, if it was gone, it was usually after a trip to or from Dallas, where I knew the wind may have blown if off cause I was doing 75 for three hours.

But just recently I put an awesome Boston Red Sox magnet on the back of my car. I NEVER put anything on my car. It was classy.. big, red Boston Sox "B." It looks like this:



I have no idea how or when this happened, but it's gone. Yes, it is a big assumption that I'm saying someone stole it, but come on. There is NO way this "blew off" my car.. it's a MAGNET (very much like the ribbon magnets you see.. flat, and made for cars). Needless to say, I was pissed. Someone actually saw it, went to my car to see if it was a sticker or not, and then proceeded to remove it and walk away without anyone seeing.

I hope they are happy with it.


In other news, this at least made me feel better. The new Apple store opened literally next door to where I used to work. They had the front covered for months.. in fact, when I got the email that it was opening tonight, I was surprised because the nasty green boards were still up just days ago. But now I know why it was hidden. I literally screamed "OH MY GOD," when I saw this pic below. I may be turning into a geek, or at least an Apple Geek, but this is BEAUTIFUL.

I'll be checking this out at lunch or after work tomorrow.. YESSSSS!!