3 Weeks and Counting

I can't believe I haven't written since the end of August. Pretty amazing. I had thought about writing, but so much had been going on in May, I guess it just flew by. It also didn't help that June had literally 3 days of sun. This sounds like a joke, but the news said that it had been 109 years since we had a June that rainy. I had thought I would be outside most of June due to my last day at work being May 29, but most of it was spent inside getting ready for the baby or running errands. I guess there was an upside of some sort.

Fast forward to now, July 14.. it's hard to believe I have less than 3 weeks before the baby is due. I have been very, very lucky, as physically this pregnancy hasn't been that bad. I did have some bouts of depression and anxiety over the past few months, but that seems to have subsided. This decrease was unexpected as most docs say this is to increase, but I must have transformed something or God has been looking out for me and allowed me some peace. This is not to say that I don't get anxious, but it seems to be mostly "normal" anxiety of not knowing what to expect and getting overwhelmed at all the information that is out there. I have realized that I really do have everything I need to "know" in all this.. the theory based stuff, and now, it's all about the "doing." I know I will make mistakes and that used to be my biggest concern, but now that reality is here, my biggest concern is figuring out how I'm going to deal with the lack of sleep and getting up every 2-3 hours to feed! I know from my past that when I am put to the test, the mind and body just follow and do what is needed.. I assume it will be the same here.


Just to update on a few things, a lot has happened since I last wrote. A few friends threw a baby shower for me on May 31. Mom came in and it was a good time. Some breakdowns, but overall, it was great to be around about 15 or so women knowing that they all cared so much about me. It was humbling.



There was also a work shower at Berklee that was a lot of fun. Two others in the office are due this month and then me August 1, so there was a combined shower. Once again, it was nice to be pampered and shown so much love. It's hard to take in sometimes.




J and I have also been working hard to get the place ready for Jackie and for ourselves (mostly me), to feel at peace and not have a bunch of clutter around. J has been amazing and working so hard. Not only at his day job, but also around here. I get worried about him, concerned that he is getting overloaded, but he seems to enjoy it and is excited about what all his work will bring in the end.

Jackie's room is done and I'm very happy about the result. The theme is around the Dr. Seuss book "Oh, the Places You'll Go." I love the colors, but mostly the story. It reminds me of my life a lot.. that you will have so many dreams, will fail at times, but the main thing to remember is not to give up. I have given up at times, but still continue to have dreams that I strive for. I want Jackie to know that her dreams are hers and she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to.. and I want her to know that early :)

In any case, I think we have put a number of things together that were not a "set" per se, but it all worked out. I'm very lucky that I can "see" color in my mind and it always turns out the way I have it designed in my head. I will post more pics later, but it's a very airy, sunny and calming space. I think she will enjoy it. Here's her crib area:



We also recently sold my car and got a new Nissan Rogue. It was tough to get rid of my car on one level, but I had some closure on it by the time we traded it in. We tried for about a month to sell it on our own, but we just weren't getting the price we wanted for it. J ended up working out a deal at the dealership that I thought would never happen and we were able to trade the car in without all the hassle of a private sale. Trying to sell the car was a good learning lesson, but in the end, I'm glad that we just traded it in.

I'm happy with the Rogue. It drives well, has a great sound system and feels very "me." I wanted to get a decent looking CUV/SUV (CUV = crossover utility vehicle) and refused to get a mini-van :) After driving about 6-7 cars over the past few months, we decided on the Nissan. I think it will do the job for now and we both love driving it.


We also completed all our Child Prep classes (Infant CPR, Newborn Basics, Child Prep, Breastfeeding basics) and I'm happy that we did all of them. Although we really didn't meet anyone that we were able to keep in touch with (I thought we might), it was still great to be in the classes with other couples and getting all our questions answered. For anyone who is having a baby, I definitely suggest the Childhood Prep class at least. For me, I haven't been around babies a lot and had many doubts about myself as a mom. This class really helped as I had already done a lot of research on my own and it solidified things I already knew and added to my toolchest of information.


Aside from all the "doings" of getting ready, overall, I have been healthy, as well as Jackie. There have been no problems, all tests been normal or better and I haven't gotten so huge that I haven't been able to move around. We were still going to shows and going out as much as possible and we just saw one of our last shows, Gary Gulman, at the Comedy Connection. At this point, it's tough to sit for long periods of time so many shows are out, as well as anything that has a lot of standing, but I've been happy at what I've been able to do and still feel that I can do.


Me and Gary at the Comedy Connection, Boston, 7.11.09

Each day at this point (I'm a bit under 3 weeks til I'm due), I get a bit slower and there's more Braxton Hicks contractions, but no pain. I just have to watch my energy, make sure I drink a lot of water, and what I learned yesterday, make sure I laugh a lot :) I noticed yesterday that I read one of my Child Prep books for 5 hours, trying to get as much info as I could, and then I get overwhelmed.

I have to keep reminding myself that I know what I know and if there's any problems, we can always refer to the books later or call her pediatrician. There's so much out there, I don't think I could really tell myself I'm completely prepared. All I've been told (and from my own observation), I'm more prepared than most and have everything at my fingertips. Not only that but I have a loving and prepared husband and other family and friends that are there if I need them.

For now, I think my job is to relax as much as possible, enjoy the sun (finally) now that it's here and laugh as much as I can :) I just can't believe that the time is almost here and our lives are about to change big time. Although I don't know exactly how yet, this also gives me the space to "start over" and get creative. I can't wait for that to kick in for me.. I know once I get into the role of "mom" it will all start to flow. But until then, I will continue to look for the small things to keep me laughing and calm.. it's tough at times, but I know I can do it.

Glorious

This is a word my co-worker and friend uses all the time.. when the time is right, obviously. Today, the timing is right.. it's glorious outside.. and it's about time.

It's also about time I blogged. People used to say my middle name was "blog," but I noticed that it's been over 2 months since I've done so. Let's say it's been a long 2 months.

Although I have mentioned this along other avenues of getting information across to people, what's been going on is that I'm pregnant (again). As some of my readers know (and if not you can go back in the archives of my blog), I had documented a lot along the way of my pregnancy last summer. Unfortunately, I lost the baby at 7 weeks, but I had been going thru a number of treatments for many months to even get pregnant. I was inspired to write about my journey for other people that just might be looking for information or a "friend" of sorts that had gone thru the same thing.

When I lost the baby and we tried again not much later, I was a bit more cautious and chose to keep it private for a bit. We didn't tell many people until the 3 month mark (which is the norm anyway) and I JUST posted it as a status update on Facebook last week and I'm at 6 months now. So, let's just say this road looks a bit different than the last one.

Overall, physically I have been doing quite well. There have been the ups and downs, but mostly great. Most of the time, it has literally been to the day that things change.. for example, first trimester wasn't bad until a few weeks in, really sucked til about week 10 or 11 and then literally on the day of week 12, BOOM my energy was back. There I was running up stairs, my energy level was 10X more than it was and I felt great.

Here I am just starting week 26 and the first week of my third (and final) trimester. Although I still have energy, the swelling has started and I can't be on my feet for long. This now adds to the list of things I can't do or can't do for long periods of time, which includes GA shows at concerts. Luckily, most of the bands I wanted to see have past or are in August after my due date so I'm OK with missing those. However, anyone or anything telling me I can't do something is always a challenge. I guess instead of getting mad, I could just get creative :)


But getting back to "glorious," today and over this past weekend has been extraordinary weather-wise. We've had a VERY long Winter here in Boston and it's well deserved. It's almost hard to explain how the sun and amazing weather affects me. What I noticed, which I hadn't in previous years I have lived here, is the birds singing in the morning, and even now that I'm home and have the windows open. I never knew how much I loved chirping birds until last week. It's amazing what you take for granted when you grow up in a state where most of the year is sunny.

My Winter has been hard.. not just due to the normal cold and cynical Bostonites, but with being pregnant, it also reminded me that my family, but mostly many of my close friends, are not here. I am blessed to have the friends I have here in Boston and wouldn't trade them for anything, but I also have a posse back in my hometown who I adore and miss greatly. I always find it difficult to figure out what to do with these feelings. Generally they subside, depending on the day, but overall, there's just a part of my heart that stays empty.

Also, psychologically, the pregnancy has brought up a lot of my past (I hear this is normal) and I'm dealing with it at another level. It's amazing how many times one can deal with their "past." I have over 20 years of therapy and personal growth work where I've delved deeply into my past in all different areas, but here I am, all of it in my face and having to deal with it (again) one by one.

In some ways, I guess this is necessary. I definitely don't like to live in regret and, once again, although many times I have gotten closure on those events I had/have regrets, they sometimes come creeping back. This is not to say that I was lying to myself, it's just that there are so many levels to getting complete and having closure.

I am learning a lot about myself over the weeks and sometimes by the day. I'm having to keep track of many things depending on what doctor I'm seeing at the time, so it kinda is like looking at your life thru a microscope. Most of the time I am excited to see it this way, but other times, it's extremely overwhelming.

But I am learning, I am maturing and I am transforming, sometimes right before my own eyes. This was what was needed, I think; to be the mom I want to be (even if I have no idea what that looks like).


We have a few more days of this glorious weather, but just like Boston, we get the tease and we are back to colder weather and even some rain (well, it is still Spring). I will enjoy it while I can--keeping my mood high and spirits lifted.

I need it right now, and I also feel like I'm being rewarded for all the hard work I have done over the months. It would be nice to actually think that is the truth, but in the meantime, I will continue to feel the cool breeze, enjoy the quiet and the melody of chirping birds outside my window.

Glorious.

Blatent Plug

Hall & Oates keep it live
Published February 18, 2009 07:02 AM
By Kym Kilgore / LiveDaily Contributor

Daryl Hall and John Oates are getting ready to head out on a US tour that sticks close to the East Coast through mid-April.

The duo is set to kick things off Feb. 20 in Boca Raton, FL, and play a dozen cities, including Orlando, Baltimore, Boston, Atlantic City and Biloxi, MS. Two-night stands are booked in New York City and Lake Charles, LA. Details are listed below.

Oates also has a couple of solo dates on the calendar to support his sophomore solo effort, "1000 Miles of Life," which surfaced in September. Those shows can be found at Hall & Oates [ tickets ]' website.

Last November, the blue-eyed soul duo released "Live at the Troubadour," a CD/DVD package that captures Hall & Oates' May 2008 return to the legendary Los Angeles venue. The two-night engagement marked the first time the performers had taken the Troubadour stage in 35 years.

"John and I have a lot of great memories associated with performing at the Troubadour, since it was our first show in LA," Hall explained in a statement. "It's like going back to where it all began for us. We've always had an enthusiastic following in Los Angeles, and this is a chance for our fans to see us up close and personal in an intimate setting."

Hall & Oates' most recent studio release is 2006's "Home for Christmas," which features a host of holiday classics alongside a couple of originals. They offered up their latest set of non-holiday music with 2004's "Our Kind of Soul," comprising 14 classic soul covers and three originals.

Hall has also been busy with "Live From Daryl's House," a monthly Internet concert featuring him playing alongside special guests. This month's webcast with The Bacon Brothers (Kevin and Michael) debuted last weekend and is streaming at the Daryl's House website, where fans can also watch archived episodes.

During a career that spans four decades, Hall & Oates have sold more than 60 million albums and scored eight No. 1 singles, many times appearing simultaneously on adult contemporary and R&B charts. In 1987, the RIAA recognized the performers as the No. 1 selling duo in music history, a record they still hold today, according to a press release.

Last spring, Hall & Oates was honored with the BMI Icon Award in recognition of their "unique and indelible influence on generations of music makers." They were also recently honored by Billboard as the No. 15 most successful Hot 100 chart artist from the past 50 years.

[Note: The following tour dates have been provided by artist and/or tour sources, who verify its accuracy as of the publication time of this story. Changes may occur before tickets go on sale. Check with official artist websites, ticketing sources and venues for late updates.]

TOUR DATES
February 2009
20 - Boca Raton, FL - Centre for the Arts at Mizner Park Amphitheater
21 - Orlando, FL - Seaworld

March 2009
6 - Baltimore, MD - Rams Head Live!
8, 9 - New York, NY - The Fillmore at Irving Plaza
11 - Boston, MA - Orpheum Theatre
13 - Asbury Park, NJ - Paramount Theatre
14 - Atlantic City, NJ - Borgata Event Center

April 2009
3, 4 - Lake Charles, LA - L'Auberge Du Lac Casino and Resort
7 - Melbourne, FL - King Center for the Performing Arts
10 - St. Augustine, FL - St. Augustine Amphitheatre
14 - Ft. Myers, FL - Barbara B. Mann Performing Arts Hall
18 - Biloxi, MS - Beau Rivage Theatre