3 Weeks and Counting

I can't believe I haven't written since the end of August. Pretty amazing. I had thought about writing, but so much had been going on in May, I guess it just flew by. It also didn't help that June had literally 3 days of sun. This sounds like a joke, but the news said that it had been 109 years since we had a June that rainy. I had thought I would be outside most of June due to my last day at work being May 29, but most of it was spent inside getting ready for the baby or running errands. I guess there was an upside of some sort.

Fast forward to now, July 14.. it's hard to believe I have less than 3 weeks before the baby is due. I have been very, very lucky, as physically this pregnancy hasn't been that bad. I did have some bouts of depression and anxiety over the past few months, but that seems to have subsided. This decrease was unexpected as most docs say this is to increase, but I must have transformed something or God has been looking out for me and allowed me some peace. This is not to say that I don't get anxious, but it seems to be mostly "normal" anxiety of not knowing what to expect and getting overwhelmed at all the information that is out there. I have realized that I really do have everything I need to "know" in all this.. the theory based stuff, and now, it's all about the "doing." I know I will make mistakes and that used to be my biggest concern, but now that reality is here, my biggest concern is figuring out how I'm going to deal with the lack of sleep and getting up every 2-3 hours to feed! I know from my past that when I am put to the test, the mind and body just follow and do what is needed.. I assume it will be the same here.


Just to update on a few things, a lot has happened since I last wrote. A few friends threw a baby shower for me on May 31. Mom came in and it was a good time. Some breakdowns, but overall, it was great to be around about 15 or so women knowing that they all cared so much about me. It was humbling.



There was also a work shower at Berklee that was a lot of fun. Two others in the office are due this month and then me August 1, so there was a combined shower. Once again, it was nice to be pampered and shown so much love. It's hard to take in sometimes.




J and I have also been working hard to get the place ready for Jackie and for ourselves (mostly me), to feel at peace and not have a bunch of clutter around. J has been amazing and working so hard. Not only at his day job, but also around here. I get worried about him, concerned that he is getting overloaded, but he seems to enjoy it and is excited about what all his work will bring in the end.

Jackie's room is done and I'm very happy about the result. The theme is around the Dr. Seuss book "Oh, the Places You'll Go." I love the colors, but mostly the story. It reminds me of my life a lot.. that you will have so many dreams, will fail at times, but the main thing to remember is not to give up. I have given up at times, but still continue to have dreams that I strive for. I want Jackie to know that her dreams are hers and she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to.. and I want her to know that early :)

In any case, I think we have put a number of things together that were not a "set" per se, but it all worked out. I'm very lucky that I can "see" color in my mind and it always turns out the way I have it designed in my head. I will post more pics later, but it's a very airy, sunny and calming space. I think she will enjoy it. Here's her crib area:



We also recently sold my car and got a new Nissan Rogue. It was tough to get rid of my car on one level, but I had some closure on it by the time we traded it in. We tried for about a month to sell it on our own, but we just weren't getting the price we wanted for it. J ended up working out a deal at the dealership that I thought would never happen and we were able to trade the car in without all the hassle of a private sale. Trying to sell the car was a good learning lesson, but in the end, I'm glad that we just traded it in.

I'm happy with the Rogue. It drives well, has a great sound system and feels very "me." I wanted to get a decent looking CUV/SUV (CUV = crossover utility vehicle) and refused to get a mini-van :) After driving about 6-7 cars over the past few months, we decided on the Nissan. I think it will do the job for now and we both love driving it.


We also completed all our Child Prep classes (Infant CPR, Newborn Basics, Child Prep, Breastfeeding basics) and I'm happy that we did all of them. Although we really didn't meet anyone that we were able to keep in touch with (I thought we might), it was still great to be in the classes with other couples and getting all our questions answered. For anyone who is having a baby, I definitely suggest the Childhood Prep class at least. For me, I haven't been around babies a lot and had many doubts about myself as a mom. This class really helped as I had already done a lot of research on my own and it solidified things I already knew and added to my toolchest of information.


Aside from all the "doings" of getting ready, overall, I have been healthy, as well as Jackie. There have been no problems, all tests been normal or better and I haven't gotten so huge that I haven't been able to move around. We were still going to shows and going out as much as possible and we just saw one of our last shows, Gary Gulman, at the Comedy Connection. At this point, it's tough to sit for long periods of time so many shows are out, as well as anything that has a lot of standing, but I've been happy at what I've been able to do and still feel that I can do.


Me and Gary at the Comedy Connection, Boston, 7.11.09

Each day at this point (I'm a bit under 3 weeks til I'm due), I get a bit slower and there's more Braxton Hicks contractions, but no pain. I just have to watch my energy, make sure I drink a lot of water, and what I learned yesterday, make sure I laugh a lot :) I noticed yesterday that I read one of my Child Prep books for 5 hours, trying to get as much info as I could, and then I get overwhelmed.

I have to keep reminding myself that I know what I know and if there's any problems, we can always refer to the books later or call her pediatrician. There's so much out there, I don't think I could really tell myself I'm completely prepared. All I've been told (and from my own observation), I'm more prepared than most and have everything at my fingertips. Not only that but I have a loving and prepared husband and other family and friends that are there if I need them.

For now, I think my job is to relax as much as possible, enjoy the sun (finally) now that it's here and laugh as much as I can :) I just can't believe that the time is almost here and our lives are about to change big time. Although I don't know exactly how yet, this also gives me the space to "start over" and get creative. I can't wait for that to kick in for me.. I know once I get into the role of "mom" it will all start to flow. But until then, I will continue to look for the small things to keep me laughing and calm.. it's tough at times, but I know I can do it.